Our Story: Vanessa and Travis

   Never in a million years did I dream that my next blog post would be my love story! But, for all of you who keep dropping hints that I should "write it down,"  here it is! 

   My perspective: His name is Travis and I have secretly been in love with him for five years, if not more! I have spent time reminiscing, searching my memory for the exact moment that I fell in love with him, but I can't find it! I do remember giving him a ride home from a youth deal many years ago and thinking that he was very handsome, but I don't think I had any feelings at that point. I can tell you that we have been friends for most of our adult lives. His family spent time in the mission in Jamaica and then, two years after they returned home, I spent time in the mission in Jamaica as well, so we've always had a common ground that made for good conversation. However, by July of 2015, I had a pretty massive crush on the 6'3," dark-haired Hiebert boy and I remember trying to swap "info" with another youth girl who had a crush on one of my co-workers at the time. That little maneuver didn't end too well for me,... the other youth girl married her crush and I got an apologetic message that "he isn't really thinking that way" or something down those lines. I was rather crushed but still raggedly persistent and a couple weeks or months later, I think I even sent him a text message asking him if he had any feelings! That sounds embarrassing, and, while it is, I will say that I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was some sort of connection between us... It was new to me and I didn't understand it, but every time our eyes met, there was SOMETHING there. I told folks about how I felt and Dad gave me some advice that has stayed with me all these years. He said,"Vanessa, just hold it in your heart." So I did, but after my poorly timed persistence, things were a little awkward between us, and I couldn't bear to look him in the eyes because I felt that my feelings were still written all over my face. The years went by, I found a profession that I loved and threw myself into nursing and being an auntie. I still prayed for Travis every day, and I prayed that if these feelings weren't from God, that they would leave me. They never did. Eventually, I stopped praying about my feelings and just prayed that Travis would be safe and happy. Every so often, he would send me a text message and my heart would smile, but life just went on. We didn't see each other often, but when we did, there was still something there between us. I didn't know if I was imagining things or not, but I did know that I couldn't feel for anyone else the way I felt about Travis...

   God didn't leave me with nothing to hold on to during this time... I had an experience at work probably in early 2018 that gave me strength to continue "holding it in my heart." I remember that my feelings for Travis and the whole situation was just a heavy weight and I was struggling with how to accept the future and move on, so I stopped by the little chapel on the ground floor at the hospital and just poured my heart out to God... After I prayed, I picked up a Bible that was sitting in the rack and just opened it up. The first verse I saw when I glanced down was, "Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it... (Song of Solomon 8:7) I remember being in tears looking at the verse and leaving the chapel with a renewed sense of hope that maybe I wasn't as far off in left field as I felt sometimes!

   Year 2020: enter the ol' corona virus: Travis and his family spent spring break in Jamaica, just as the US was beginning to truly shut down and lock the borders... I sent him a text message asking him how things were in the Caribbean and so on. Travis got that message while relaxing at the guesthouse overlooking the Caribbean, and for whatever reason, his mental "wheels" started turning. At any rate, a few weeks after he came home, I got a message from him that said. "I've got some coffee here for you if I can get it to you." I was surprised to say the least! He brought it over to the house on a Sunday afternoon. I had told a few of the family that he was coming and they were a bit stunned! Mom said,"I didn't know that you still had feelings for him." To which I replied,"Well, there hasn't been a time in the last 5 years that I wouldn't have said yes if he'd asked!" The whole family was here along with a couple of friends, but Travis didn't seem bothered. He just waltzed in with the coffee and gave it to me with no shame... In the meantime, I was trying my best to act like this was just any ole' day when in reality, my heart was in my throat all afternoon. He stayed for supper and was the last one to leave, if I remember right! I just couldn't believe it! Well, after that, my hopes were definitely rekindled, but the next couple weeks were radio silence. I sent him a thank you card for the coffee with a little letter inside, but only after carrying the card around for days because I didn't quite have the nerve to send it. Another few days went by, and I heard nothing. My birthday rolled around and I was at work all day just hoping to get at least a text message or SOMETHING on my birthday! When I left work in the evening, I was pretty down in the dumps because I hadn't heard a thing from Travis. I drove home with one last hope that maybe there would be a card waiting for me, but when I walked in the door, Mom pretty much just ignored me, and there was no mail to be seen. All disappointed, I trudged to the shower and took my jolly time. I think it was close to nine o'clock by the time I walked into the kitchen for a glass of water before bed. Mom asked me in a very weird voice if they could talk to me in their bedroom... and 5 minutes later, I was engaged! My answer went back to Travis yet that night, and we were able to talk on the phone for awhile... I couldn't tell you what we talked about but I do know that I didn't sleep much that night! 

 Travis's perspective: He remembers coming home from the Houston unit in 2015 and feeling that we had a good friendship at that point... Travis has told me more than once that the most important thing to him was to wait for the right girl and not to lead girls on... well, me being me, usually impatient and impulsive, I sent that first text message during a rough patch in Travis's life and I really should have waited. At any rate, time moved on and Travis says "It didn't really dawn on me that there was more between us than just friendship til' about 2 years ago..." He was at the farm working cows, and for some reason, he messaged me, maybe for my birthday.  And then he says something just came over him that our friendship was maybe more than just friendship. Of course, at this point, we saw very little of each other, only occasionally at hymn sings or the odd social gathering, but I find it VERY interesting that Travis can remember a lot of these occasions and the times we spoke to each other sometimes even better than I! 😉 Then came the day when he got my message asking how things were going in good ole' Jamaica... He was relaxing, just soaking in the beautiful scenery and surroundings, and he says that his thought was "I need to get home and get married to Vanessa!" So he came home bearing gifts...  He says that he was pretty sure on his part after the "coffee date," but was a little shady where I stood by then, so he was doing a lot of praying when my thank you card and little letter came. During this time, he read the account in Genesis 24 detailing the story of Isaac and Rebecca's romance and a phrase in verse 50 really stood out to him. "The thing proceedeth from the Lord..." He also talks about the settledness he felt at that time and that he has felt since then. 

   We are both thankful for God's faithfulness. Either of us could have chosen different paths so many times, but God granted us both grace and strength to hold on during the wait. I, for one, can never again doubt that God has our futures in His hands and that His timing is always and forever, perfect.